What Would You Do?

...
Just close your eyes and count to ten
Go back to when
The sword actually was mightier than the pen
Back before there was a Ben
When boys were boys and youths were men
And then;
Think, if there never was a "you",
If all you knew is everything but true
If all the hearts were drawn in dark blue
If your fantasies were overdue
If the color black was the only hue
If falsity was all you knew
If all your dreams grew wings and flew
If life was nothing but a clue
What would you do?

Too Stupid

If you can't laugh about this you need help.... This is supposedly a true story from the Word Perfect help line. Needless to say the help desk employee was fired; however, the person is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "termination without cause". This is from the taped conversation leading up to dismissal :

"Word Perfect Technical Desk, may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type!"

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Laugh Out Loud.

Okay this is my first blog...now, is it weird that I am not excited? (Who am I kidding?) Well, I have a reputation as a practical joker… so it’s only logical for me to start blogging by saying a joke. So here goes:

“A joke”.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I have been thinking of what to blog about, and then it hit me. “Why don’t u blog about the things you hate the most?” (That suggestion came when I was having dinner with Terdoo...smart guy, you should meet him) …and as stupid as it might sound, I am looking for the dumb prick that invented the acronym “lol”.

Say what??

Yes, I am a “hater” for the acronym. Now, whenever it was invented, it was supposed to mean the person was actually “Laughing Out Loud”….but now, people have abused the “word” so bad that “lol” really means

•  I have nothing else to say
• You are boring the living daylight out of me! 
• Heaven knows that I have heard far funnier people
• Get a life!!!
  

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It has gotten so bad that the “word” has “evolved” to certain levels of “Lmao”, “Lmfao” (for the insanely profane),  ”Lwkmd” (The Nigerian version), ”Lwsms” (what the heck does this mean??) and “Lmbo” (for those who can’t say Lmao). Then there is ROTFLMFAO. (Damn dawg! Seriously?)

I know a girl (no seriously, I actually know a girl) who uses the “word” so much that it has affected her everyday speech! It is so bad, when she laughs (sincerely), she goes “hahaha…l-o-l”. (I mean, what the fuck!!!) I personally haven’t been a victim of this, but if she ever l-o-l’d to my joke, I would literally beat her up!

Have you stopped to think about who came up with “lol”? Pretty sure it was a dumb blonde, nobody with an IQ over 50 would have invented something so dumb. I’m Ben Franklin, I would know.

I just wish I could go back to the past, to the moment when the “inventor” of the acronym was ‘laughing out loud’, and shove one of my smelly socks down her windpipe. (Let’s see what’s funny about that!). I could have stopped so many things from happening. If someone had stopped the bimbo, maybe the person could have prevented 9/11 from happening, or Jay Z won’t have such big lips, or George Bush would love blacks , or David wouldn’t have seen Bathsheba, or maybe Adam wouldn’t have eaten that apple! (am I going too far?).

I just believe that the world would have been a better place without the invention of “lol”, but then again, I believe that Michael Jackson is a gay, white woman. Does my opinion count? Absolutely not!

(But hey, if I’m ever chatting with you, and you keep answering me in “lol”s, I reserve the right to delete you from ma list! #FreedomOfDeletion).

So before you write “lol”, stop to think, ‘Am I actually laughing out loud’? (and to me, all lol-sayers are liars!! Cos sometimes you crack a joke that even your mum wouldn’t laugh at (just to make you happy), and someone goes “LMFAO! That’s funny!!” No it’s not!!! You liar!!!)

Thank you, and death to all “lol” sayers!

Lol.